discipline

Nights like tonight are frustrating. Not just because Jeff is out of town and I’m doing it all alone but also because I do the “ugly” part of parenting alone a lot. Granted that’s what I wanted, in part. That’s one of the reasons why I chose to stay home. Aside from seeing them grow and having fun with them I also wanted to be the one that would discipline and teach them my belief and have an intricate part in raising them. But sheesh the discipline gets harder as they get older. Ty’s only 5 but already we’re onto bigger things. It’s more then just sharing and using your “nice words.” Now I’m trying to teach matters of the heart, respect, self-control, patience, kindness, goodness, and gentleness (that’s a big one with 2 little sisters).. Not surprisingly a lot of those are the fruits of the spirit. I’m sure my list will grow and change as he gets older but I only have 13 years left to do it. Some days I feel more confident in my parenting. Tonight I am just exhausted…and after a long DRAWN out episode of “disciplining” Ty I wonder was it worth it? Should I have just given him “one more chance” just so I could call it a night and put everyone to bed, kick my heel up and relax? But on a night like tonight when I feel like I have been “riding” him all day on my “list” it finally came to blows. Literal and actual...it started out as 1 spanking which usually resets him and we can move on…no not tonight he got 4. Seriously? He was defiant and stubborn out right refusing to obey me, telling me “no I will not.” So it took until spanking #4 with #5 looming in the shadows that he finally gave in to obey. We’re both exhausted. Seriously? Being a parent is hard work. I’m in it for the long haul. He’s a good kid, but he’s not perfect. I don’t expect perfection but I do expect obedience. I never understood the love or discipline of my heaven Father until I had children of my own.