FEARS

Jeff is deathly afraid of ferries wheels. Ty is afraid of bugs (and currently big bird). And my big fear is fish tailing/ losing control while driving. As Ty and I where driving to the air port to pick up Jeff on Friday, the front wheel of my car had a blow out and I lost control of the car and swerved off the road into the median. As I fish tailed in the grass/dirt median my total focus was the 18 wheeler that we where going to hit head on in on coming traffic if I didn’t gain control of the car. In the split seconds I was desperately trying to control the car I realized it was doing no good and literally threw my hands up in the air and asked God to take the wheel. I always wondered if people knew the moment they where going to die and I really thought my time had come. To my surprise it wasn’t my life that flashed before my eyes, it was my little two year old boys in the back seat. My car did finally come to a halt before we completely crossed the median and met on coming traffic. I straightened it out and brought it closer to my side of the highway and laid over my steering wheel and cried, and cried all night. I gained composure long enough as people came to my rescue, my hero brother came and changed my flat tire, and several police cars came to offer aid as well.
This was a lesson in love for me. I was at peace dyeing but the thought of Ty dyeing tore me apart. Ty is my only son and when he was born I thought I understood the love God had for his people when he allowed his own son to be sacrificed. It wasn’t until the seconds of chaos when I thought I was going to kill Ty that I realized what the sacrifice of Jesus death actually entitled, and the awesome love he has for us. I would have dyed a thousands times over if it meant I could have saved my son.