Changes

There have been several changes around here and with that it's hard to know where to start. Each time I think about blogging I get distracted thinking about the direction I want my thoughts to go. Tonight it's Friday and it's late so you are in for a real treat to get showered with scattered thoughts, but here goes.

1. The biggest change in the past 3 months months was Ty getting diabetes. BUT it doesn't stop there.

2. Jeff got laid off from his job.
His last official day was April 2. While I prefer the financial stability of a steady paycheck, it was time.

It was time for him to be home with the family and more of a presence in our lives. It was time to be done with his company, it was time. Over the 3.5 years he worked for the company there had been serious changes in their mission statement and employee treatment, it was time. While the ride had it's perks and its ups and downs..it was time. One of the coolest things happened in the last days of job..he did a show for Ty's school. Though I'm not sure who was more excited Ty or Jeff. The show was only for 3-5 so Ty was bummed his friends wouldn't get to see it. But the prinicpal let Ty out of class so he could see the show one last time (and Jeff did a little something for Ty's classmates after his show). I came as well with Ava and my nephews. Jeff was really talented and good, but it was time. We're on to the next chapter of our life and trusting God's timing in everything. Jeff is working towards and searching for his next niche to minister and share our God.

3. We are living off some savings plus the money I make from watching kids.
We cut up our credit cards about 3 years ago and haven't used them since. Today I got a new one in the mail. I guess my old card had expired and so I was receiving one with a new expiration date. Once I realized what it was it only took me about 5 seconds to think of a WHOLE list of things I could buy with it. Jeff needs a new weed eater, I want a new bathing suit, Ava and Ali will both be celebrating a birthday soon, ect.. Had I not had a pair of scissors in hand I think I would have completely convinced and justified myself to start spending on credit again. Once I cut it up, my "neediness" resided and I was content. Just a thought.

4. Ty's been approved from an insulin pump. (We are still going through all the "red tape" to make it happen)
Thursday he threw the biggest fit about every aspect of getting ready for school. I'm not a yeller at my kids, but that morning I did. I felt so guilty about it that I joined him in his room to apologize and found his curled up on his bed. I laid next to him. (Back story: He was going on his 1st first trip through school that day).
I'm not going to quote our conversation word for word but in a nut shell, he was butting heads with me because he didn't want to go on the field trip that day. He thought he would have to take his insulin shot on the field trip in front of his friends. He was fine with the fact he would have to take his blood sugar (he actually enjoys the audience for this part) but he gets uncomfortable about having to do his insulin shots in public. My heart just broke for him and we cried together (then I assured him he wouldn't go on the field trip until after his insulin shot and lunch.) It was hard for me to see this side of him, the part that is self conscious. He has always been confident and self-assured. I hate the fact that having diabetes might change him and bring on more self-doubt that already clouds you as you grow up. I typically feel confident as a parent, and even with the medical side of his diabetes care. The hard part for me is the psychosocial effects of having a lifelong/ life changing disease. In reality this was the first sign of anything of that nature and so I was caught off-guard. We've been to a play group/ support group for kids with Type I in our area and I intended to send him to diabetes camps when he gets a little older. But it's never presented as a big deal so we just treat it like another "thing" to do...like brushing your teeth (except you do that after every meal instead of before). In reality I'm over all the jazz, shock and frustration with him being diagnosed. But the reality for him is that it's a daily deal. Getting an insulin pump with replace the insulin shots and hopefully the his self-doubts of diabetes.

5. Diabetes is the norm in our house.
It had actually became the norm a while back. Even Ava wants to do her blood sugar a few times a week all by herself. By norm I mean, no big deal. I'm getting good at counting carbs and know my stuff. Our family meals at this point typically include a protein along with a fresh vegetable and fruit. He is so awesome to always finish his food or make a trade. Like tonight (Jeff served him up some chips and dip) he asked if he could trade the chip carbs for something else. He is learning to count carbs and today we had a lesson about fruits and vegetables and their carb content...as a rule of thumb  choose those fruits and vegetables with the dark colors for less carbs. While I feel like I've got a handle on all of this, several things have not happen. 1.He has not gotten sick (we had a whole 3 hour class on how to care for him if he gets sick, it makes things complicated.)  2. He hasn't spent a moment out of our care (except school and chuchI'ld be lying to say I'm not nervous about it). 3. I've always been able to bring up his low blood sugars; there have been no seizures or unconsciousness. I have glucogon pen and have been trained how to used it...my prayer is that I NEVER have to. The reality is that I have a handle on it as long as there isn't a crisis.

6. Miss Ali is walking. The girl has the fattest thighs and when she toddles around the house in her diapers, she looks like Frankenstein. She is something else and has gained the nickname spunky monkey. I've got a whole post I've been working on in preparation for her 1st birthday on May 22 (more on her then)

7. The person who loves having Jeff home the most is Ava. She is in love with her daddy and the feeling is mutual. In Jeff's eyes she can do no wrong. Seriously. Ty and I ran to the store last week and while we were gone "someone" unscrewed a bottle of lotion and squeezed it in the girls room on carpet and well as the eye pieces of some goggles. Ava tried out some lying saying Ali did it and Jeff actually believed her. Come on Jeff, start unwrapping yourself from Ava's pinkie. Really she is sweet little girl. Bossy in her own right with those she loves (AKA brothers and cousins) and such a mother hen to her siblings. She is obedient and easily bribed and will do anything for a "sweet treat"

I gotta wrap this up. It's baseball season and Ty has a game in the morning. He is playing "coach pitch" baseball and Jeff is his coach. What fun!

April